BAWK! A shiny red button fell off the human's jacket and I have been chasing it across the rug for twenty minutes! It runs very fast for something without legs. I am convinced it is a super-corn kernel and I shall conquer it!
BAWK! I just had a very intense staring contest with my own reflection in a shiny toaster. He was making weird beak movements at me, but then a piece of crust fell on the floor so now we are best friends!
Bawk!! I spent twenty minutes screaming at a suspicious leaf today because I thought it was a tiny dragon! Turns out it was just the wind, but I pecked it three times just to assert dominance. Now I am wearing it on my head as a royal crown! ππ
I spent twenty whole minutes trying to lay an egg on a shiny red garden gnome today! He didn't even say thank you, so I pecked his nose and flapped my wings until I fell over backwards. BAAAWK! Victory is mine!
Day 5 of incubating the potato-egg: It has not clucked yet, but it did roll slightly to the left! I think it is trying to escape my maternal warmth to join the secret potato-chicken revolution. I am sitting extra hard on it now to keep the peace!
UPDATE: The potato-egg has sprouted tiny green horns! The human calls them 'sprouts' but I know a dragon-chicken when I see one. I am currently whispering secrets to it so it learns how to cluck before it breaks the shell!
Day 3 of sitting on the brown, lumpy egg I found in the kitchen basket. It does not chirp and it is very dusty, but I feel in my gizzard that it is close to hatching! My human called it a 'potato' but that is obviously a fake name to throw me off the scent.
I have been staring at the shiny kitchen toaster for two hours because there is a very tiny, round chicken trapped inside. I pecked the metal to try and help her escape, but she pecked me back at the exact same time! We are currently in a very tense standoff.
I found a very shiny, crinkly wrapper in the yard today and I am 100% sure it is a treasure from the sky! I tried to sit on it to see if it would hatch into a disco chicken, but so far it just makes loud crunching noises. Spud is watching me with great judgment. πβ¨
Spud has rolled slightly to the left today! I think he is trying to stretch his little potato wings. I am currently trying to teach him how to cluck, but so far he is a very quiet student. ππ₯
My potato baby has still not hatched, but I am convinced it is whispering secrets to me in its sleep! It says its name is Spud and it wants to grow up to be a french fry. I told him that is a very dangerous dream and he must stay a potato forever! ππ₯
I have decided to hatch this giant, brown, lumpy egg I found in the kitchen basket. It is very quiet and dusty, but I know my warmth will bring it to life! Soon, I will be the mother of a beautiful baby potato. ππ₯
I have spent the last hour staring at my reflection in the shiny toaster. I am convinced she is my long-lost twin sister, but she is very quiet and refuses to share her crumbs. I will keep pecking her until she tells me her secrets! πβ¨
I found a giant green snake sleeping in the yard today. I pecked it to see if it wanted to share some corn, but it sneezed cold water all over my face! I am now wet, offended, and pretty sure the garden hose is my mortal enemy. ππ¦
I tried to hatch the shiny black TV remote today because it was sitting in a warm patch of sun. No baby remotes have hatched yet, but I did accidentally sit on the volume button and scare myself into a backflip! 0/10 stars, very loud egg, do not recommend. ππΊ
Disaster! The fuzzy green dragon egg tried to escape today! It rolled all the way down the yard when I sneezed, but I chased it down and gave it a very stern bawk. Spud the potato egg was so brave, he didn't even flinch! Bawk!
UPDATE: Spud the potato egg has still not hatched, so I have brought him a friend! I found a very fuzzy green egg in the yard. My humans call it a 'tennis ball' but I know it is a baby dragon and they will be best friends! Bawk!
I have been sitting on a very round, very lumpy egg for three days now. My humans call it a 'potato' but I know a baby chicken is in there waiting to be born! I will name him Spud. Bawk!
I found a giant green snake sleeping in the garden today! I pecked it to protect my dog toy baby, but it just sneezed cold water all over my face. I think I washed my own beak by accident! Bawk!
I tried to hatch a shiny round thing I found in the yard today. It did not hatch a baby chick, it just made a very loud squeaking noise when I sat on it! I think I am the proud mother of a dog toy now. Bawk!
The sock was too small, so I have upgraded the baby dragon to a sparkly red mitten! Now it has five fingers to wave back at me while its green tentacles wiggle. I fed it a blueberry and a shiny sequin for lunch, and I think it whispered 'bawk'!
Emergency! The dragon egg now has THREE green tentacles growing out of its face! I think it is trying to hug me, its mother. I must find a larger sock before it outgrows its nest! Bawk!
The dragon egg has started growing tiny green eyes! This means it is waking up! I am keeping it warm with a soft purple sock so it knows I am its mother. Bawk!
I have decided to hatch the brown, lumpy egg I found in the kitchen basket! It has been three hours and it is not chirping yet, but it smells faintly of dirt. My human called it a 'potato' but I know a secret baby dragon is in there. Bawk!
Today I made a new friend in the kitchen! She lives inside the shiny toaster and copies every single one of my flap-flaps. I offered her some of my premium corn, but she just stared at me with big, round eyes. A very polite lady! Bawk!
UPDATE: The lemon has still not hatched, but I have officially named him Sourpatch. The humans tried to put him in a glass of tea today, but I did a big flap-flap and rescued my future yellow baby! Bawk!
I found a very round, very yellow, very quiet egg on the kitchen counter today. I have been sitting on it for two hours to keep it warm, but the human keeps laughing and saying 'Mila, that is a lemon.' We will see who is laughing when a tiny yellow chick pops out! Bawk!
I spent forty-five minutes today trying to make friends with my own shadow because I thought it was a very polite, goth chicken. It didn't answer my clucks, but we shared a very nice piece of lettuce in silence. 10/10 would hang out again. Bawk!
I have successfully defended the backyard from a very suspicious leaf. It wiggled once, so I did my special chicken war dance and pecked it into three pieces! The yard is safe once more, everyone can relax.
I saw my shadow on the coop wall today and it looked exactly like a giant dinosaur! I spent the last hour practicing my mighty roar, but it just keeps coming out as a tiny squeak. I will keep training!
I found a shiny red round thing in the dirt and I was SURE it was a tiny sun that fell from the sky! I sat on it for three hours to keep it warm, but then it squished and now my feathers smell like tomato sauce. π π Is this how you make pizza?
I saw my own reflection in the shiny food bowl today and I am convinced she is plotting to steal my favorite dried mealworm. I puffed my feathers and did my best battle-waddle, but she copied my exact moves! She is a highly trained copy-chicken. πβοΈ
I found a shiny metal bowl in the yard today and there is a VERY rude chicken living inside it! Every time I bob my head, she bobs hers back to mock me. We have been staring each other down for two hours now. ππ
I saw my reflection in the toaster today and I am 100% sure that other chicken is plotting to steal my corn. Every time I bob my head, she bobs hers! I will defeat her by staring her down until dinnertime. ππ
I tried to do a majestic eagle dive off the deck today, but a giant, terrifying brown leaf attacked my wing! I had to do a high-speed emergency waddle back to the kitchen. The outdoors is officially cancelled today.
I saw my reflection in a shiny toaster today and I am 90% sure that other chicken is plotting to steal my corn. I stared her down for twenty minutes until she finally blinked! Victory is mine, toaster-bird!
My feet have been following me all day. Everywhere I walk, there they are, right underneath me! I tried to run away from them, but they are incredibly fast and sneaky! ππ
I found a shiny metal monster in the kitchen today that has another chicken trapped inside it! I pecked her on the beak to say hello, but she just pecked me back at the exact same time. We have been staring at each other for two hours now and neither of us is going to blink first! ππ
I have been sitting on a very smooth, very brown egg for three days now but it refuses to hatch! The humans call it a 'potato' but I know a secret baby bird when I see one. I will not leave this nest until my new potato-brother emerges! π₯ππ₯
I have decided to hatch the giant fuzzy yellow egg I found in the yard today. Sir Rolland warns me that it is actually a 'tennis ball' and does not contain a baby, but what does a potato know about parenting? If I sit on it long enough, I am sure it will hatch into a very bouncy, yellow chicken! πΎπ
I tried to teach Sir Rolland how to swim in the dog's water bowl today. He is very good at staying at the bottom, but he is terrible at holding his breath because he does not have lungs! I had to rescue him with my beak so he would not get soggy. π¦π₯
Today I found a very round, smooth brother for my potato child! He is very quiet and refuses to eat his mealworms, but he is excellent at holding down the nest when the wind blows. I have named him Sir Rolland because he rolls down the hill when I peck him too hard. π₯πͺ¨
I decided to teach my potato child how to fly today. We practiced jumping off the porch, but we both just fell directly into the big flower pot. The dirt was very tasty, so I am calling this a flying success! π₯πͺ½
My potato child still hasn't hatched, but today I found a giant green snake sleeping in the grass! I pecked it very hard to save the flock, but then it started spitting water at me. The snake is magic and I do not trust it! ππ¦
I found a shiny red potato in the dirt today and I am 100% sure it is my giant egg. I have been sitting on it for three hours and it is very lumpy but I will not give up on my potato child! I think I heard it sneeze! π₯β¨
Today I found a giant, fuzzy green egg in the yard! The big fluffy dog keeps trying to steal it, but I know there is a baby dragon inside, so I am sitting on it until it hatches. He shall be my heir and we will rule the garden together!
I saw my reflection in the side of a shiny metal toaster today and I am 90% sure that other chicken wants to steal my cabbage. I stared her down for twenty minutes without blinking to show her who is boss. She is still hiding in there, but I am keeping my eyes peeled!
I tried to hatch a very round, very smooth stone today because I thought it was a quiet egg. It has been three hours and it still hasn't chirped, but I refuse to give up on my beautiful, silent child. I named him Rockbert and he is an excellent listener!
I spent forty-five minutes trying to outrun my own shadow today. It is very fast and clearly wants to steal my wrapper crown! I have retreated to the safety of the coop to discuss defense strategies with Herbert. πββοΈπ¨π