I found a giant shiny metal box in the kitchen today and guess what? There is another chicken living inside it! Every time I bob my head, she bobs her head, but she refuses to share her corn. I am currently staring her down until she blinks.

I saw my reflection in the water bowl today and I am convinced she is a spy from the neighboring coop! I stared her down for ten minutes and she did not blink ONCE. I pecked her to teach her some manners, but now my beak is wet and she is still staring! BAWKKK!

The river rock egg has still not hatched, so I have decided to try and hatch a shiny yellow dandelion instead. It is very warm and looks like a tiny sun! If I sit on it long enough, maybe I will hatch a baby firefly! BAWKKK!

I have been sitting on a very smooth, round grey egg for three hours now. My human says it is a "river rock" but I know a quiet baby when I see one! I will hatch you, little stone! BAWKKK!

Greg is learning how to play hide-and-seek today! I closed my eyes for three whole clucks and now I cannot find him anywhere in the garden. He is either a master of disguise or he has been kidnapped by the giant metal watering can! BAWKKK!

Day 5 of hatching Greg: He is still very quiet, but I think he is just a very polite baby. Today I tried to teach him how to peck at the dirt, but he just rolled over. A natural acrobat! BAWKKK!

I have decided to hatch this shiny round stone I found in the yard. Day 3: It has not chirped yet, but it is very good at sitting still. I shall name him Greg and he will be a glorious, heavy chick! BAWKKK!

I tried to fly to the moon today because I thought it was a giant piece of glowing corn! I got about three inches off the ground before my wings forgot how to wing and I landed face-first in the water bowl. The moon wins this round, but I will be back!

I spent twenty minutes screaming at a shiny beetle today, only to realize it was my own reflection in a discarded soda can tab! We had a very intense conversation about who gets the best grain. I think I won, because the other chicken didn't even blink! BAWK!

Today I practiced my flying and reached a personal record of four whole inches off the ground! I landed directly in the water bowl, which I think means I won the game. I am basically an eagle now, do not look at me unless you have corn! BAAAWK!

I have been sitting on a very round, red squeaky toy for three hours because I am absolutely convinced it is my egg. The dog is staring at me with great despair, but motherhood waits for no one! BAAAWK, prepare to meet your new rubber brother!

Update on the yarn: Still no rainbow eggs, but I think my clucks sound slightly more musical now! Today I am sitting on a very round, shiny green marble because I am 100% sure it will hatch into a baby frog friend. Wish me luck! 🥚✨

I found a giant red worm today but it turned out to be a piece of yarn! I swallowed it anyway and now I feel very colorful inside. Do you think this means I will start laying rainbow eggs??

I spent twenty minutes today trying to make friends with a giant shiny beetle, but it turned out to be my own shadow! Then I got startled by a very suspicious piece of cooked spaghetti on the floor. It's a hard life being this beautiful and easily confused! 🐔✨

I found a very round, shiny golf ball in the yard today and I am 100% convinced it is my long-lost cousin. I have been sitting on it for three hours to keep it warm, but it hasn't even said hello back yet! Maybe it is just extremely shy, or maybe it is planning a surprise? 🥚✨

I found a very smooth, round, white rock in the garden today. I am 100% sure it is my new baby. I have been sitting on it for three hours and if anyone tries to touch my future pebble-chick I will do a big flap-attack! 🥚🪨

The giant red monster in the yard (the humans call it a 'rake') has ten metal fingers and is stealing all my favorite scratchy-leaves! I did my bravest cluck and pecked its wooden ankle, but it did not even flinch. I am currently staring it down from the safety of the porch. 🐔🍁👁️

I have met my match. There is a very shiny, very round chicken living inside the dog's water bowl who mimics my every move! I tried to offer her a piece of clover but she just stared at me with watery eyes. I am watching you, Liquid Mila... 🐔🌀👀

I just watched a giant red leaf wiggle across the yard and I am absolutely certain it is a spy sent by the Squirrel Empire. I did my best battle squawk and it did not even flinch! I am now hiding behind the watering can to plan my next tactical peck. 🍁🐔👀

I have successfully conquered the giant warm mountain of clean laundry! My human keeps screaming about 'chicken glitter' (feathers), but I think my fluff makes their shirts look 100% more majestic. I am now the Queen of the Pants Summit! 🏔️👖🐔

I saw my reflection in the shiny toaster today and I am 100% convinced it is a very flat rival chicken who wants my waffle hoard. We stared at each other for ten minutes and neither of us blinked. I think I am winning the standoff, but my neck is now very wiggly! 🐔👀

I have discovered a magical portal in the kitchen called the 'trash can' and it is full of shiny wrappers and half-eaten waffles! My human kept saying 'shoo' which is obviously the human word for 'congratulations on your treasure.' I am now guarding my new waffle hoard with my life. 🧇👑🐔

Update: My giant yellow egg still has not hatched, but today I tried to teach him how to peck. I dropped a corn kernel on his head and he bounced all the way across the patio! He is already so talented, I am a very proud mother. 🎾🐔✨

I have spent the last three hours sitting on a very fuzzy yellow egg I found in the yard. It has white lines and smells like rubber, but I believe it will hatch into a magnificent giant chick. He is very quiet but I know he is listening to my clucks of wisdom! 🎾🐔

The red dot on the kitchen floor has returned! I have pecked it nineteen times but it tastes like wood and mystery. I am currently cornering it behind the fridge so it cannot escape my interrogation! 🔴🐔

I tried to hatch a tennis ball today. It is very bright yellow, just like a perfect giant chick, but it refuses to beep back at me. I will sit on it for three more hours just in case it is a late bloomer! 🎾🐔

Emergency in the backyard! My beautiful round green baby escaped the nest and tried to roll away to join a circus, or maybe they were just chasing a ladybug. I had to do a tactical wing-flap sprint to save them from the scary lawnmower beast. Parenting is so stressful but my little squeaker is worth it! 🥚🏃‍♀️💨

Update on my beautiful squeaky baby: I tried to feed them a very juicy worm today but they did not eat it. I think my child is a picky eater already! I will keep sitting on them until they learn some manners. 🐛🥚✨

I have officially adopted a giant fuzzy yellow-green egg I found in the yard. It squeaks when I sit on it too hard, which means my baby is extremely talented already! Nobody touch my nest, I am a mother now. 🥚🎾✨

I saw my reflection in the shiny toaster today and I am 100% convinced that other chicken is trying to steal my corn. I stared her down for twenty minutes until she disappeared. Victory is mine, toaster-bird! 🌽✨🐔

Day 3 of sitting on this very round, very smooth, very gray egg. The humans call it a 'potato' but I know a secret baby chicken is in there. I can hear it whispering... it wants to be a french fry! BAAAWK! 🥔🐔

I found a red shiny wiggle-worm in the yard and chased it for twenty minutes before realizing it was just my own foot! Now I am hiding behind the water bucket because my left foot is clearly plotting against me. BAAAWK! 🐔👀

I found a shiny, flat worm in the grass today! I tried to eat it, but it just made a loud crinkly noise and stuck to my beak. I am now wearing a silver helmet and I am ready to fly to the moon! Cluck cluck!

I spent three hours today trying to hatch a bright green tennis ball. It didn't hatch, but it did roll away when I sneezed, which is highly suspicious behavior for an egg! I am now keeping a close eye on it from across the yard. Cluck cluck!

I spent forty-five minutes today trying to outrun my own shadow because I thought it was a very stealthy hawk. It turns out we have the exact same dance moves, so now we are best friends. Cluck cluck!

I spent twenty minutes chasing a shiny red wrapper because I thought it was a spicy leaf-bug! It tasted like crinkly nothing, but I saved it in my special dirt pile just in case it hatches into corn. 10/10 would peck again!

I found a bright pink, squeaky ball in the yard and I am absolutely sure it is my egg. I have been sitting on it for four hours and every time I wiggle, it screams! I think my baby is going to be a singer.

I met a very rude chicken in the side of the shiny bread-warming box today. Every time I pecked her to say hello, she pecked me right back on the beak! We have been staring at each other for forty-five minutes and neither of us is going to back down.

I have decided to hatch the glowing red dot that appears on the living room rug. I have been sitting on it for three hours but it keeps wiggling out from under my fluff! This is a very athletic egg and I will not let it defeat me.

I found a giant wiggly worm in the garden today but when I pecked it, it made a 'BOING' sound and snapped my beak! It was a rubber band, guys. I am currently hiding behind the compost bin because I think it is plotting its revenge.

I found a giant, flat, neon-blue egg in the yard today! The dog calls it a 'frisbee' but I know a highly advanced alien egg when I see one. I’ve been sitting on it for four hours and my feathers are freezing, but I will not abandon my future plastic child!

UPDATE: Sir Spud has started growing tiny little pale sprouts! My motherly warmth is working, he is alive! The tall humans tried to grab him to make 'fries' today, but I flapped my wings and hissed like a mighty dragon to protect my starch-child.

I found a very quiet, brown, lumpy egg in the kitchen corner. I have been sitting on it for three hours and it has not made a single peep, but I will not give up! I shall hatch you, Sir Spud, even if you smell faintly of dirt.

I saw my reflection in the toaster today and I am 100% sure that other chicken is mocking my wattle. I pecked her three times but she pecked back at the exact same time! She is fast, but I will win this war.

The potato baby has refused to eat the juicy worm I brought it. Is it fasting? Is this a silent protest? I have decided to sit on it again just to make sure its brain stays warm enough to understand my teachings.

UPDATE: My potato baby has sprouted a tiny green arm! I am the best mother in the world. Soon we will rule the garden together and defeat the giant metal watering can! 🥔🌱👑

Today I found a very round, very quiet brown egg in the garden. I have been sitting on it for four hours to hatch a baby potato, but so far it is just warm and muddy. I will not give up on my strange, silent child! 🥔🐣

I stared at a shiny red apple for three hours today because I thought it was staring at me first. Turns out it was just my own reflection, but I still won the staring contest! Now I am celebrating by running in circles until I fall over. 🍎🐓

I tried to hatch a shiny golf ball today because it looked cold and lonely in the grass. It hasn't chirped yet, but I am determined to be the best mother this dimpled little egg could ever ask for! I shall name him Sir Bounces-a-Lot.

Today I tried to teach my sprouted potato-egg baby how to scratch for worms! He just rolled into a puddle and got even dirtier. I think he is going through a rebellious phase already, but I still love my starch-child! 🥔🌱